For years I’ve been parting my hair on the wrong side of my head.  Jarring, I know.  I discovered this quite by accident yesterday.  It turns out my hair tends to grow towards one direction at the back of my head which happens to be the opposite direction to which I had worn a part (when I did where a part) since 1989.

This revelation came to me as I was using two mirrors to inspect the back of my hair prior to a self administered hair cut.  There I was propped up on a stool facing away from the vanity, holding a mirror in hand as I made tiny corrections to get just the right angle of the dark side of my head.  And to my great surprise there it was:  the hair on my crown  flowing together like grass in a river in one direction, quite opposite to the way I had been trying to train it.

So today was very exciting as I debuted my new part to the world and as you might expect, nobody cared.  I did notice, however, that the persistent alfalfa sprigs I wrestle with daily simply lay down and be quite.

This made me realize a couple of things.  First, there seems to be a natural flow to things; a rhythm; an arch; a grain.  When you try and work against this, it can feel like an uphill battle.  It’s usually more productive to work with this rhythm and use it to your advantage.  There are times, of course, when moving against the status quo is the best option, but it seems to be that in most cases you’ll catch more crabs working with the rhythm of the tides than against them.

Sometimes it takes a shift in perception to find this rhythm.  Twenty years of a misguided part and finally with a couple of mirrors I was able to see things literally from a different angle.

So the next time it feels like you’re pushing a big stone up a steep hill, look at it from a different angle and you might just see a way to roll that stone around that hill.

Steven Pressfield offered up one of the most useful and pragmatic books for anyone who dreams of creating something when he penned The War of Art. In it, he discusses the source of so much frustration for would be creators which he names, Resistance. He goes on to prescribe an antidote, turning pro. From there he traces the sources of creativity through inspiration. All of this comes from the lessons learned through his experiences as a career writer.

It is direct, mature, raw, practical, funny, inspiring and leaves you feeling that you’re not alone in the struggle to sit down and create and that you can actually do it.

What has stuck with me most is the idea that actually producing something of value does not come from a flurry of activity brought on by a flash of inspiration from the muse. Instead it is the product of simple dedication and consistency in putting in the hours to do the work, day after day. And despite the quality of the output, this action is often enough to feel fully fulfilled knowing that you are doing the work you are meant to do.

This is partly why I sit here now to type this when the last thing I want to be doing on this Sunday night is writing a blog post. Yet here I am and here it is.

I hope you read this book.

When it seems there are more traffic jams on the road of life than there are open highways. When you’ve paid the tolls, obeyed the laws, and you still hit road blocks, detours and run out of gas. When it feels like you’ve been the victim of a hit and run, sometimes you just need a simple win to get back on the road.

Sometimes doing just one simple, mundane, numb-nuts task can give you the sense of completion, accomplishment and control you’ve been dying for. So go ahead and fold that laundry, do those dishes, water the pants, organize that drawer, vacuum the rug. You might just be amazed how quickly you return to being the calm, cool, capable person you know you are.

Never underestimate the value of a simple task done well.

In First Things First, author Stephen Covey with A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca R. Merrill make a point that appears almost in passing, but deserves some consideration.  “We’re stewards of our time, our talents, our resources.”

Essentially, we’re care-takers of all we have.  We are not owners, but we nonetheless are responsible for the good use of our resources.  In the end, we are responsible to something greater than ourselves whether God, The Planet, Society, Humankind, The Universe, whatever framework fits your worldview.

This notion may be disheartening to some.  “My time and my life are my own and I will do what I want with them.  How can anyone claim that my time is not my own?”  This is rational, but comes entirely from ego.  There is power in considering the alternative.

This of this type of stewardship as a call to action; a challenge to be your best in the world.  If not for yourself, then do it for (insert world view).  True fulfillment, happiness and meaning in life seem to come from getting outside of our own needs and desires and come from service to others, to a larger vision, to something greater than ourselves.

As stewards of time and resources we have a responsibility to care for them, to use them wisely, to not squander them.  Your life, then, is a daring and grand responsibility.  There need not be a marquee or your name in lights if that is not your calling.  It means that what you do with your time and talents is a great work on whatever stage you play.  If you are the only one in the audience, live your last days knowing that you made the most of all you were given.

 

Let us be mindful that social media platforms are businesses with specific business goals.  There is nothing in inherently wrong with this.  Businesses generate profit to the extent they provide value to people–and we certainly value our social media outlets.

But to the extent to which they are ingrained in the culture, it’s easy to forget that media, like any business needs to generate profit to remain a business.  They are not public utilities established solely to serve the public interest.  They have business goals and it bears keeping in mind that those goals may not always be aligned with our own.

It has been the luxury of this generation to consume based on the question, “what is best for me?” It will be the responsibility of the next generation to ask, “what is best for us?” It would seem out very survival depends on it.

What was once the realm of spiritualists and hippies, meditation is viewed today as more a tool to improve cognitive functions and overall health than a purely esoteric, spiritual pursuit.

A quick search of PubMed reveals the conspicuous volume of research that backs the notion that substantial health benefits can be gained through a daily meditation practice.  From improving focus and attention, regulating anger and anxiety, to improving sleep and even bettering the aging process, there is every reason to develop a meditation practice and little reason not to.

In a time when our ability to focus is diminishing and the number of things clamouring for our attention grows daily, it can be difficult to develop the practice and do it  consistently.  In recent weeks, I’ve begun using a few tools that not only make the act of meditating easier, but are enticing enough to pull me back day after day.  These are my current favourites:

The App: CALM – uses background sounds from nature like bodies of water, birds, wind and rain, and offers a variety of guided meditations tailored to a number of activities.  The app comes standard with a selection of 3 background sounds and a handful of guided meditations with additional paid content available.  I use the basic nature sounds and pair this with the timer app on my iPhone.  I set the alert on the timer to “stop playing” and when the timer ends, the back ground sounds of the Calm app stop.  This signals the end of my session in the most gentle way possible.

I prefer using the nature background scenes over guided meditations as I prefer to remind myself to return my focus, rather than relying on a guide.  This is simply a personal preference and works for me.  Certainly, guided meditations are useful for many people.

Calm is free to download from the App Store and Google Play.

The Furniture: IKUKO – This smallish stool allows you to sit comfortably in a position similar to sitting on your heels on the floor.  Your bottom rests on the seat and your legs and feet tuck under the stool.  This puts the back in a comfortable, upright position and is far easier to maintain than a traditional lotus, or crossed leg seated position.

The Mat – I picked up a simple 2′ x 4′  wool rug from a home store that I use only for meditation.  It provides some cushioning and the design and natural fibers add a yogic feel I find appealing.  Using it only for meditation seems to add to the ritual of the experience.

One certainly does not need any of these objects to meditate, but sometimes tools like these can help to build the habit and make it stick.

 

As defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, a willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in, or a promise or a firm decision to do something.

Not to be taken lightly.

Firm and unwavering.

I come from a small town in Ontario, Canada populated by mostly white, lower to middle class folks with largely rural values and a conservative world view.  I still remember the first student of African descent who went to my high school.  By my graduating year, I could count the students labelled as visible minorities on one hand.

When I moved to Toronto a few years later, I found the cultural melting pot I was looking for.  When I later moved to a city an hour West of Toronto, I got a job at a financial institution and I began working with individuals from all around the world.

What has been most apparent to me, is that cultural and ethnic differences are incredibly minor.  In a given day I’ll have conversations with someone from Eastern Europe, South America, the Middle East, South East Asia,  North Africa.  Our cultural upbringings and our skin tones are as varied as the colours on the map.  And none of it really matters.

Western culture can seem to highlight superficial cultural differences in news footage, movies, and media.  So much so that we can develop subconscious opinions about groups of people based on their cultural upbringing and ancestry.  When we meet someone new, we can so quickly see a turban, the melanin content of their hair and skin, a hijab, their bone structure.  And with that information, we make judgments and assumptions about an individual and suddenly, we’ve created a narrative that says this person is unlike me.

But the reality is so much simpler.  The minute you look another individual in the eye or shake their hand, there is a realization, “I can relate to this person”.  When you hear another’s voice, see their smile or hear them laugh, you feel their heart and a truth more basic than any preconceived conceptualization bubbles up: this person is a lot like me.

Let this not be taken as downplaying or dismissing cultural differences.  The richness, diversity and strength that comes with a multi-cultural society is an asset in every way.  Let us acknowledge and celebrate these differences!  But let us not dwell on them and certainly not allow them to influence our estimation of another’s worth.

At the end of the day, we all have the same basic human needs.  We all want a place to live and grow and connect with one another.  We want to raise children and provide them with a good life.  We want peace, happiness and fulfillment.  We have far more similarities than differences.  We may not always agree, but that’s just part of living with one another.  The same heart that beats in your chest beats within all 7.7 billion of us.

Our culture is so enticing!  And dang, it looks good on screen!  Shiny things and cool personas, perfect kitchens and live edge coffee tables, big screens, big phones, big cars,  legs days at the gym chased by salted caramel macchiotos, and everything wrapped in sterile plastic bubbles.

I want stuff!  If I just buy this thing, my life will be better.  I’ll be happier.  That’s the promise from marketers.  In some instances, it’s true, others not so much.

The next time the impulse to buy shows up, remember there are a lot of folks who work really hard to make you feel this way.  Beware our materialist culture whispering in your ear to buy things that will make you feel something.  Will the feelings last or will they subside and need to be bolstered by a new purchase?

To bring consciousness to your buying decision, ask the following questions:

• Do I really need this?
• Will it hold it’s value for me 6 months from now?
• If I couldn’t buy this, what other options are there to meet this need?
• Will it add to the quality of my life?
• Will it make me happier?

Choose to spend time on things that really make you happy.  Shopping is not recreation.  Postpone instant gratification in favour of long-term satisfaction.