If you own it, you drive it.  Accepting responsibility is not accepting blame.  It is not guilt, and it is not shame. It is not self-punishment or admitting defeat.  It is not a display a weakness, but a show of strength.  It is not humiliation, but a demonstration of leadership and personal integrity.

It is acknowledgement in and acceptance of the part you play in creating the events and circumstances of your life.  It is above all else the fork in the road between helplessness, resignation and defeat, and that of action, decision, and emancipation.

When things go sideways, it is all too easy to look externally for the cause.  To blame, to point the finger:  “It’s not my fault!  It’s them not me!”  This is the trap of the victim.  Always at the mercy of other people, events, and circumstances.

The fundamental problem with this thinking is that is transfers the plane of action to those same external people, events and circumstances.  By blaming something out in the world, the individual has removed their ability to do anything about it.  “I can’t do anything about it, I am a victim of ______.”  The have told themselves (and usually anyone else who will listen) that they have no control, no power over what’s going on.  Nothing can be done.  No course of action can be taken.  This is defeat.  This is a show of weakness in mind, body and spirit.

The necessary alternative is the acceptance of responsibility.  By acknowledging the part you play in even the slightest capacity, you suddenly give yourself permission and the capacity to act.  To do something constructive.  To change the situation.  By making that mental shift and reflecting on the part you play in the dance, you now have the ability to change how you move to the music.

You give yourself permission to actively do something different.

There is nothing in this world that cannot be improved by simply taking responsibility.

Disagreement with that impossible coworker?  What are you doing to cause that reaction in the other person?  What could you do differently?

Stuck in a dead end job?  Get a new one.  Start a business.  Change how you feel about your job.

Worried about green house gases?  We all should be.  Change your lifestyle.  Become involved.

Terminally ill?  Use the time you have to improve the lives of others.  Pass along your wisdom.  Become a source of inspiration.

Disgusted with the atrocities humans inflict on each other?  Ghandi would famously say, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”

When you shirk responsibility, you negate your ability to change your circumstance.  You’re placing the plane of action on that which you blame.  You’re telling yourself and the world that you are too small to make a difference.

When you take responsibility, however, you put yourself in the driver seat.  You instantly give yourself the ability, the power, the permission to respond differently. Even if external events are outside of our direct, physical control, if we acknowledge the part we play we can change how we feel about and respond to those events.  And often this is the most profound effect.